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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ceiling Tiles and Beans

I don't know exactly what my malfunction was today. I walked out of my office twice and left my keys inside. Luckily, our facility manager was around for my first brain lapse. The second time, I wasn't so lucky.

So, there I stood. No key to my office within 10 miles or more, other than the one within a few inches, separated from me by a barrier of drywall. I looked things over and decided if I could find a ladder I could go over the wall, and through the drop ceiling. One of our youth (lately we call him Beans) made the mistake of saying, "You won't do that."

Is that a fact?

I found an 8-foot ladder in the furnace room; just tall enough to reach the bottom of the drop ceiling. Once I finally got the ceiling tile out of the way, avoiding the large metal pipe and fiberglass insulation, I determined that I had enough space to squeeze into the ceiling and stand on the top of the wall. All the while, my audience is growing. By this time, there are four folks standing below me in the hallway with eyes wide wondering if I was that insane. I figured they would know me by now, for Heaven's sake. Beans was still taunting me: "You won't do that." Dude, don't you see me with my head in covered in ceiling tile rubble and fiberglass insulation?

Finally, I was able to sit on the top of the wall with my legs on the hall side. Over my shoulder I could see my keys. That kind of ticked me off, so I had the fleeting thought of someone holding my legs while I dangled down to get them, but it didn't take me long to rethink that one. I'm not completely insane, after all.

I stood up on the wall's edge, grabbed a fortuitously placed 2x4 above my head with both hands, dangled over one of my padded visitor's chairs, thought "Lord don't let me die", and let go. With a loud thud, I came to safe rest on the chair's seat.

As I opened my door from the inside, the crowd that had gathered stood and stared for a second. Their eyes seemed to be saying, "I can't believe you just did that." Then Beans said, "Man, I wish I had a video camera so I could have recorded that". Thank goodness he didn't. Then I certainly would have mangled at least one important body part. You know, Murphy's law. (By the way, Murphy needs a beat-down.)

Just another day at the office.
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