Test the Limits

I'm still here!!

So, I've recently been intrigued by the story of Steve Prefontaine, arguably one of the most dynamic characters in American running ever. Interesting fellow. If he truly ran, and lived, as his coach Bill Bowerman described in his all to premature eulogy, then he is an inspiration.

Eulogy by Bill Bowerman following Steve Prefontaine's untimely death on May 30, 1975:

"All my life, man and boy, I've operated under the assumption that the main idea in running was to win the race. Naturally, when I became a coach I tried to teach people how to do that. Tried to teach Pre how to do that. Tried like hell to teach Pre to do that. And Pre taught me. Taught me I was wrong. Pre, you see, was troubled by knowing that a mediocre effort can win a race and a magnificent effort can lose one. Winning a race wouldn't necessarily demand that he give it everything he had from start to finish. He never ran any other way. I couldn't get him to, and God knows I tried . . . but . . . Pre was stubborn. He insisted on holding himself to a higher standard than victory. 'A race is a work of art' is what he said and what he believed and he was out to make it one every step of the way.

Of course he wanted to win. Those who saw Pre compete or who competed against him were never in doubt how much he wanted to win. But HOW he won mattered to him more. Pre thought I was a hard case. But he finally got it through my head that the real purpose of running isn't to win a race. It's to test to the limits of the human heart. That he did . . . No one did it more often. No one did it better."

iSmoke, Don't Breathe This

Just a Short Break

As everyone has probably noticed (if you are still checking), I haven't been blogging much lately. Well, I have a bit of a break today, so I thought I would take advantage of the time:

It has been a whirlwind several months. As you may know, I started my EMT training in late February. Great news! I finished with my EMT-I two weeks ago, and am now working with a local private ambulance service called ProCare EMS. In fact, I'm at Starbucks right now waiting on a patient pick-up appointment. Not a bad deal, huh. There's a bit of a catch. Because of school, I can only work certain days. So, since my schedule is so weird, I am working two 16 hour shifts on consecutive days. It's not as bad as it sounds! I just think of all those mission trips I led and slept minimally for 10 days or more. Two days is a breeze.

My pre-med program is going well so far. I just finished my first class (Chemistry I) on Thursday, and found out last night that I received and A on both the class and the lab!! Thank the Lord! Monday, we start Chem II. I suppose it is a good thing that I always enjoyed chemistry, for some crazy reason. It's surprising how much I remembered after almost 20 years! Oh, I have to tell you a funny story.

On the first day of class, my professor had us all introduce ourselves and give our ages. He was obviously going to use the data to illustrate a point, so we all played along. He asked for a volunteer to start, and of course I was more than happy to go first. After 14 other classmates told their stories in the nutshell, I realized (as I figured would be the case) that I was the oldest in the class by about 7 years. It would have been more like 17 years had there not been another couple of "older" non-traditional pre-meds in the class! That was funny enough to me, but the clincher was when I asked the professor later how old he was: 32! Remember, I'm 38. I just had to snicker to myself. The great thing is, my classmates are cool, and the incoming pre-med folks that I will be in the progam with for the next year are a lot of fun. To top it all off, our professor is not only an excellent teacher, but he is also quite a nice guy. Not a bad start.

Jamie and the kids are doing well. They are on their way back from Florida on what was going to be our family vacation this year. For obvious reasons, I wasn't able to go. Not to worry, I have a break in August, and we are going to take full advantage of it. They have been gone all week, so I am excited to see them. I had forgotten what it was like to be a bachelor. It has it's advantages, I suppose, but I wouldn't want to go there again!! I have missed my wife and kids.

That's about it for now. I'll update again as I can. Many blessings to all!

Ya'll Shore Will Luv This 'Un

I couldn't resist. I wish I had thought of this. Larry the Cable Guy would be proud.

The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro, TN.)

(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God
(3) Watch yer mouth
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin'
(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal
(8) Don' t take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think? Y'all have a nice day.

Humility

Sometimes you just get a lesson in humility. The Bible says:

"First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall." (Pr. 16:18, MSG)

Just when you think you know all there is to know; just when you think you are a peg above others around you -- that's when you feel the full force of this verse. Sometimes it can be devastating, others it is just a lesson learned after which you become a far better person. I always prefer the latter. Either way, being humbled by the Lord is painful. Fortunately, our Lord's correction is because he dearly cares for us.

I have four children, and they are precious to me. One thing that I absolutely despise is having to discipline them. It hurts me to see them hurt, and when I am punishing them I am the source of their pain. The old cliche is absolutely true, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." As a child, you have no comprehension of that statement, and you scoff at every word. Scoff all you want, it doesn't make it less true.

As a Dad, I comprehend a very tiny sample of what God feels like when He has to chastise me. He's NOT some big tyrant sitting up in Heaven just looking for a reason to blast you with the biggest lightning bolt He can muster. He is a God who hurts when He has to correct us. He would much rather take us in His arms and say, "I'm so pleased with you my child."

My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
For the Lord corrects those he loves,
just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. (Pr. 3:11-12, NLT)

Focus On Him

You may have already realized that my favorite devotional is Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. God has used it more times than I could say to speak to me, second only to the Bible itself in that regard. Today's entry was particularly encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you as well.

May 18, 2007
Living Simply - Yet Focused

Look at the birds of the air . . . . Consider the lilies of the field . . . —Matthew 6:26, 28

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin"— they simply are! Think of the sea, the air, the sun, the stars, and the moon— all of these simply are as well— yet what a ministry and service they render on our behalf! So often we impair God’s designed influence, which He desires to exhibit through us, because of our own conscious efforts to be consistent and useful. Jesus said there is only one way to develop and grow spiritually, and that is through focusing and concentrating on God. In essence, Jesus was saying, "Do not worry about being of use to others; simply believe on Me." In other words, pay attention to the Source, and out of you "will flow rivers of living water" (John 7:38). We cannot discover the source of our natural life through common sense and reasoning, and Jesus is teaching here that growth in our spiritual life comes not from focusing directly on it, but from concentrating on our Father in heaven. Our heavenly Father knows our circumstances, and if we will stay focused on Him, instead of our circumstances, we will grow spiritually— just as "the lilies of the field."

The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and "the lilies of the field"— simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live— yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him.

I'm Still Alive

It has been a while. Things are a bit crazy right now. My orientation for the pre-med program I am attending is next week, and classes start the following Tuesday. It doesn't seem possible. I'm still asking myself if I have completely lost it. That is, assuming that I ever had it to start with.

I only have a few weeks left on my EMT-I training, and its the most intensive. Clinicals, practicals, multiple exams, coupled with the fact that I will have a two week overlap of the two classes. Should be interesting to say the least. More updates soon.

But He's Large!

One of my favorite movies of all time is "Popeye" with Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall. Yes, I'm insane. I suppose I have seen it at least 50 times, but not in a long time. Well, Jamie and the kids gave me the DVD for my birthday yesterday. Too cool. This clip cracks me up!

Too Darn Funny

OK, so I didn't get a chance to update over the weekend. I think I will just start from here!

If you haven't seen this, you gotta take a look.

Cast on Him Your Burdens

I'm still here! I'm going to post several entries hopefully this weekend to get caught up. However, for today, I just had to share something. Today's "Utmost for His Highest":

April 13
What To Do When Your Burden Is Overwhelming

Cast your burden on the Lord . . . —Psalm 55:22

We must recognize the difference between burdens that are right for us to bear and burdens that are wrong. We should never bear the burdens of sin or doubt, but there are some burdens placed on us by God which He does not intend to lift off. God wants us to roll them back on Him— to literally "cast your burden," which He has given you, "on the Lord . . . ." If we set out to serve God and do His work but get out of touch with Him, the sense of responsibility we feel will be overwhelming and defeating. But if we will only roll back on God the burdens He has placed on us, He will take away that immense feeling of responsibility, replacing it with an awareness and understanding of Himself and His presence.

Many servants set out to serve God with great courage and with the right motives. But with no intimate fellowship with Jesus Christ, they are soon defeated. They do not know what to do with their burden, and it produces weariness in their lives. Others will see this and say, "What a sad end to something that had such a great beginning!"

"Cast your burden on the Lord . . . ." You have been bearing it all, but you need to deliberately place one end on God’s shoulder. ". . . the government will be upon His shoulder" ( Isaiah 9:6 ). Commit to God whatever burden He has placed on you. Don’t just cast it aside, but put it over onto Him and place yourself there with it. You will see that your burden is then lightened by the sense of companionship. But you should never try to separate yourself from your burden.

Maybe Next Time

So, I didn't run the ING GA Marathon this weekend. I got off track in my training and decided it was probably a good idea to sit this one out - there's always next year!

I'm re-reading a book that has really inspired me in the last few months. It's title is The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus. God keeps bringing the following quote to my mind:

Instead of concluding it is best to be wherever God wants us to be, we have decided that wherever it is best for us to be is where God wants us. Actually, God's will for us is less about our comfort than it is about our contribution. God would never choose for us safety at the cost of significance. God created you so that your life would count, not so that you could count the days of your life.

It is so easy to take the safe road. In fact, it can be a temptation of the enemy. If God has chosen for me a difficult path, and I waver and take a safe path, I am being disobedient! God never promised that everything would be easy. I'm learning that one at an all new level.

Unflinching Trust

I finally finished "Ruthless Trust" by Brennan Manning, which I highly recommend. I wanted so share a particularly poignant passage from the book. The Lord has brought this to my mind lately as doubts and fears have grown.

"To live without risk is to risk not living," my paternal grandma used to say. The way of trust is risky business, no doubt about it. To change careers suddenly because one feels unfulfilled, to assume energy-depleting care of elderly parents, to retreat for three days of silence and solitude with Jesus without climbing the walls, to volunteer for a summer in the sub-Sahara with only meager spiritual resources, to take an unpopular position with rumblings of fear in the background, to conquer disillusionment when one finds untrustworthiness where least expected--all these challenges require a willingness to risk a journey into the unknown and a readiness to trust God even in the darkness.

A person should not act impulsively, of course. A careful discernment process involving family, friends, and a spiritual mentor should precede every major decision. But when the appropriate time comes, only the disciple with an unflinching trust in God will dare to risk. And that trust is not naive; it knows that the possibility of making a mistake and getting hurt is very real. But without exposure to potential failure, there is no risk. (emphasis mine)

Wonderful insight. I just pray that the Lord will give me the strength to have that "unflinching trust" in Him.

EMT-I, Here We Go

I passed the comprehensive exam! EMT-I class starts in a couple of weeks. Woohoo!

Big Things Happening

Today I found out that I have been accepted to Agnes Scott's pre-med program! Now all I have to do is figure out how to pay for it and continue to support our family. No big deal, huh. Well, the Lord works miracles, and this will certainly be one! The big plus is that AS allows you to defer for one year if necessary to get your affairs in order. I'm excited about the possibilities!

Tonight I finally took Gwinnett Tech's comprehensive exam, and it was tough. In fact, I would say that it was harder than the NREMT exam. Actually, that makes me feel better about EMS in Georgia, since it seems that their training is held at a high standard. I should find out tomorrow how I did. If I don't pass it, I can't take the class!

A lot of things seem to have come together very quickly this week. Some big decisions are going to have to be made in the next couple of weeks.

Small World

I had a great interview today for a Network Administrator position. It turned out that the hiring manager used to work with Lucent, also my alma mater. The cool thing was, he had chosen my resume before he realized that we were both Lucent guys. I much prefer being considered on the basis of what I know versus who I know. My prayer is that the Lord would open up the door if this is where He wants me. If this comes through, I would likely take pre-med classes at night. That would probably take 2+ years, not to mention the "glide-year" while applying to med school. Of course, all of that is if I don't get accepted to Agnes Scott's pre-med program and/or can't come up with the money to attend. I'm trusting the Lord to show me the right direction. Prayers are appreciated!!

Things have slowed down a bit. Only one exam in sight for the next few weeks. I have to pass the comprehensive exam tomorrow at Gwinnett Tech so I can join in the current class to get my EMT-Intermediate training.

Keep On Knockin'

It was good to be back in church today. I've missed 3 Sundays because of my trip to Cali. Larry Wynn's sermon was about prayer and how we, as Christians, MUST take this activity seriously. I admit, I don't pray enough and I was challenged. Larry used Luke 11 as his scripture, and one particular passage really stood out to me:

And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. (Luke 11:9-13, NLT)

The Lord really knows how to encourage a fella, huh. Have you considered lately what an incredible God we serve?

Time for a Nap

Church History exam number 2 is complete. Hallelujah! I'll sleep good tonight.

Have you ever felt like you were being tested? Sometimes God gives you a direction, with minimal details, and you move forward. Invariably, doubt and discouragement hits from seemingly nowhere. You have to ask yourself, is it God who causes that? No way. In times like that, think of verses such as:

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. (Deut. 31:8, NLT)

This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9, NLT)

Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. (1 Chron. 28:20a, NLT)

More Study!

Tomorrow at about 9:30am, I will be a happy man. The only other exam I THINK I have until April 14th is the comprehensive exam at Gwinnett Tech. Praise the Lord!!

I'm still applying for IT jobs, just so I can keep my options open. I have a couple of awesome prospects! It's not clear yet whether I will be going full-time or part-time to complete my pre-med requirements. The great thing about the program at Agnes Scott is that they will allow me to defer for one year if necessary. That gives me a lot of flexibility. One possibility is that I can work full-time for the next year or so, and get some clinical experience at a part-time EMT gig. That way, I could bank as much cash as possible and get my financial aid figured out.

Please help us pray about our direction for the next year, particularly the big decisions that will have to be made in the next couple months. Thanks SO MUCH to everyone that has already been praying and encouraging us. I love you guys!

Study!

Argghh! Did I mention that I have had a lot of exams lately!? Today, I spent several hours preparing for my Church History exam on Saturday morning. Have I mentioned that I am taking that class? It's once a month on a Saturday (all day). I'm only 7 credits away from my masters degree, so there is no way I'm going to give up now. It may take me a few more years to get it done, but I feel like the Lord wants me to finish it.

The funny thing is that as I have gotten a bit older, and hopefully wiser, I have realized that I love reading history. If you want to read an EXCELLENT book about the American Revolution, try David McCullough's "1776". I tore through that book in just a few days.

By the way, I passed my NREMT certification test! I'm now a certified EMT-B. Next step: get licensed with the state of GA.

Back to the books...

Exams, Exams, and More Exams

Today I took the NREMT certification exam. It's an computer based adaptive test, so it was a bit more dificult than I expected. Supposedly, the test adapts to your skill level and asks you harder questions based on your ability. I should find out tomorrow how I did.

I also found out I have to take a 'comprehensive exam' to get in the EMT program at Gwinnett Tech. I've taken more exams in the last 6 weeks than I have in the last couple years! Better get used to it, huh.